The Sweetest Liar

Armando is at it again…lying to me.

When I do a grocery store run, Armando often yells out to me as I’m walking out the door, “Buy me a treat!”.  And when I come back, I always have something for him.  So the other day when Armando was leaving to pick up some things we were needing for dinner, I thought I’d give it a try and yelled out, “Buy me a treat!”.

I was sitting in the living room when he got home and started unpacking the groceries.  I tried to be patient as he took each item out of the bag but my curiosity got the best of me and I finally asked, “What did you get me?”.  At that moment, he looked confused and started looking around and then stuck his hand in his jean pockets exclaiming, “My phone!  I must have left my phone there!”, as he flew out the door and ran back to the grocery store.

A few minutes later he returned, mumbling under his breath that it wasn’t there and then walked into our bedroom and announced, “Oh! Here it is.”  He then walked out of the room and handed me one of my favorite magazines, saying, “Oh, and here’s your treat.”  It doesn’t take much to excite me and I hugged him for my thoughtful gift.  But, the wheels never stop turning in my head and suddenly, things weren’t adding up.  Never have I known him to be so quick in deciphering exactly where his phone is.  And before concluding that he left it at the store, he would use our land line to call his cell to make sure it wasn’t in the house somewhere.  He never did that this time.  As the wheels started gaining momentum and every scenario zipped through my brain in a matter of seconds, I quickly realized what was going on and called him out on it.

“You forgot to buy me a treat and you faked the whole phone thing so you could run back to the store to get me something, didn’t you?!”  He started to do the whole Who-Me?-look and then threw in an “I don’t know what you’re talking about” comment. As I glanced down at his hand, I saw a receipt.  As I tried to grab it out of his hand, he pulled it away. I finally gained control of the receipt after a mini-wrestling match and as I opened the crumpled up piece of paper, my suspicion was correct.  Only the magazine was on the receipt.  He explained that they rang it through separately from the rest of the items and as we glanced down at the kitchen counter and saw the other receipt, my reflexes were quicker than his as I grabbed the other receipt.  The time difference on the receipts was about 15 minutes.  Exactly the same amount of time it takes for your man to come home, unpack a bag of groceries, realize that he forgot to buy you a treat, make an excuse to run back to the store to buy you something and then head back home and present it to you without you realizing what had just happened.

So yes, he’s lying to me again…but those good lies that make me laugh and love him that much more Smile

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