The Little Box of Tampons

What gift screams, “I LOVE YOU!”?

Is it diamonds?  Plane tickets to an exotic island?  A spa gift card? Nah….a guy truly loves you when he buys you tampons.  Yes, the dreaded T-word.  Most guys’ eyes pop out of their heads as they look at you in horror realizing that you had the audacity to ask them to pick up the dreaded little box.  Sometimes if it’s added to a long shopping list and the box can be hidden in the cart by a large bag of dog food, then maybe they’ll quickly grab it and add it to the cart while nobody is watching.  But in reality, many will just flat-out refuse to buy them.  Why? Do they think they are less of a man? Like how? That people are going to think that they are buying it for themselves?  Seriously. Or are they embarrassed?  They have no problem buying a Costco-sized bundle of toilet paper rolls, but a tiny box of tampons is out of the question?  Seriously guys!  You will score points not only with your gal but with all the women who see you walking down that drugstore aisle.  You will be seen as the sweetest guy, running this errand for your girl.  Nothing says “I love you” like a box of tampons.

One night around 11pm, I was getting ready for bed and realized that I was out of tampons.  It was a rainy BC night and Armando offered to drive to a nearby drugstore that was open until midnight.  No look of disgust, or whining or excuses to get out of the situation.  He actually offered so I wouldn’t have to get out of my pajamas.  How can I not love this guy? Upon returning home with the little bag in hand, he proceeded to tell me that two large, tattooed, muscle clad guys stood behind him in the line-up.  I guess when he offered to go to the drugstore, he thought nobody would be there at that time of night. It appeared that the experience was not a comfortable one and with that, he found a solution to avoid being in that situation again, a couple of months later.

After a business trip to New York, I greeted him at the door as he walked in.  After hugging and kissing our “hellos”, he turned and glanced at his carry-on luggage and then said that he had a surprise for me.  Well, my face must have lit up like the Rockefeller Centre Christmas tree. Ooooo, what did he buy me?  He was in New York so the possibilities are endless….  He realized what he had said and then suddenly pulled the Christmas tree plug on me saying, “Oh, no, no, no….so sorry.  I didn’t mean that kind of surprise.  No, no, I shouldn’t have used that word.  No, sorry, I didn’t buy you anything.”  And with that, he went to his bag and pulled out a handful of tampons.

He explained to me that while waiting in the airline’s executive lounge for his flight home, he went to the unisex washroom and noticed that the tampon machine was broken with tampons flowing out.  He thought he’d take some so I wouldn’t run out like last time.

Well, it’s not jewellery from Tiffany’s or a dress from Saks Fifth Avenue, but it’s probably one of the most considerate gifts ever.  Or, maybe it was a selfish gesture so he can avoid running into those two muscle men again.  Either way, how can I not love this guy?  And he must love me too because he got me tampons. 🙂

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