An Innocent Lying Thief

“I just told a lie and I feel so bad.”

That’s not how you want a day to end but Armando walked into our condo the other day and said just that.

Great.  My fiancé is a liar.  This is the day that is going to be etched in my brain of when Armando confessed to me about….what?  What did he lie about?  Well, as I am sure you can understand, my brain was trying not to get caught up in all the possible scenarios. And as I rationally thought about the situation unfolding in front of me, I felt a sense of calm inside as I intuitively picked up a ray of the often common “Armando drama” that is not really drama at all but simple musings.  “What did you lie about?”, I asked with interest.

He proceeded to tell me that he was at our favourite local coffee shop (that he has refused to allow me to name to keep the anonymity of the story), enjoying an espresso.  As he was working on his laptop, he started to notice a bit of a situation arising in the store.  A gentleman was searching around in every corner of the establishment looking for something.  Under tables, in the garbage, at the counter.  “I know I had them because I drove here,” Armando heard the guy say to the barista.  Poor guy lost his keys, Armando thought.  Wonder what he did with them?  Lost-Key-Guy finally left, without a trace of his keys. A short time later, Armando finished the last sip of his now cold coffee, packed up his things and then hopped on his bike and rode home.  As he locked up his bike and headed to our condo, he stuck his hand in his pocket expecting to pull out his house keys but instead, it was his car keys that sat in his hands.  “Why do I have my car keys?”, he thought.  “I rode my bike to the coffee shop today.  What a minute…these are not my keys!  OMG!!!  I have the Lost-Key-Guy’s keys!!  Oh no!  How the heck do I have his keys in my pocket????  They must have been left on the counter and I instinctively picked them up after ordering my espresso, thinking they were mine”, he determined as he quickly got back on his bike and rushed back to the coffee shop to return them.  As he entered the shop he asked the barista, “Yeah, did someone lose some keys?”  “Oh my goodness! Yes!  Did you find them?  Oh thank you!  We have his contact info so we will get them back to him.  Where did you find them?”

“Uh….yeah, I found them on the ground outside.”

So that was his big lie.   Haha!  So, I’m not living with a liar but with a thief!  An honest thief.  And a few weeks later, confirmed this.

Shortly after returning home from his dentist appointment, Armando was sitting at the kitchen table telling me about his appointment when his jaw suddenly dropped and his eyes almost popped out of his head as he pulled out a remote control from his pocket.  OMG!  What the heck??  We both suddenly came to the realization that he unknowingly put the dentist’s TV remote control in his pocket that he was using during his appointment and had forgotten about it!

As he jumped out of the chair and ran out the door, I yelled out, “What are you going to tell them?  That you found it on the ground?”

6 thoughts on “An Innocent Lying Thief

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